


Love can't be a sin

by CallingForYourGrace



Category: Infinite (Band)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-07
Updated: 2016-06-05
Packaged: 2018-04-03 09:07:47
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,605
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4095184
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CallingForYourGrace/pseuds/CallingForYourGrace
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The soon-to-be-priest Sunggyu met Woohyun, the guy with dark past, and his life changed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

It was a cold grey morning. Looking at the sky, dotted with dark clouds, Woohyun  couldn't help the sad smile that broke out on his face. The sky reflected his inner state so accurately, as if sharing his longing, but he was in no hurry to believe the enticing sincerity of  the nature.

Too often in his life he had trusted someone only to be disappointed. Why do people always hide behind masks?  One day they say that they love you and  the next day they betray you, throw you away, consider you a monster. Is it the only true reality - to be a chameleon, to change behavior depending on what is accepted by the majority and not on what the heart needs?

Feeling raindrops on his face, Woohyun sighed in relief:  as he expected, the sky was just laughing at him. It laughed, dashing the great drops of rain in his face, as if mimicking tears, that he could never shed. Sometimes Woohyun envied people, who had the opportunity to show such a strong emotions. It seemed to him that tears were a help, that all negative emotions could disappear with tears. Like holy water, purifying the soul from sin, the tears purified consciousness and people's mood. They felt better, after crying the smile appeared on their faces again. And looking at those smiles, Woohyun involuntarily clenched his eyes, involuntarily bit his lips, hoping to be able to shed at least one tear, for a moment to pretend, that he was not a heartless and cold-blooded person. But his face was like a reflection of his soul - nothing could wash away his sins, his anguish, his frown.

And maybe because of the inability to find salvation from his own thoughts, his own anguish, he was now standing at the entrance to the church, as if hoping that if the tears could not wash away the gloom from his face, then at least the grace of God could soften his hard heart.

He kept  coming here almost every day, to the park opposite the church. And he watched... The people, coming out of church, were so happy,  even if their prayers did not solve their problems, they were happy just by knowing that someone listened to them, someone, like a celestial office worker, accepted their request, wrote their names on the special magic cards, and now the angels were going to do everything possible to fulfill the desire of the afflicted person.

Woohyun could never understand one thing: did he even believe?  He believed in something, but couldn't define it.

He was scared by the idea that there were forces, which could change his life, if only he believed a little more; that somewhere there were forces which could save him from the mistakes he once made.

He was afraid to believe that he was the one to blame for everything that had happened in his life. 

He stood in front of the entrance to the church, hesitating to enter. But he couldn't see how prayer could help him.  How could he understand that he was he heard?

Woohyun  shook his head with a sad smile

" Idiot ..." - he whispered to himself,  looking wistfully away. - "Do you really think that you deserve a rest?"

With his head down, he stood there in the rain, not paying any attention to the curious glances of passers-by.

It was a quiet street with few  inconspicuous little shops. Small children were carelessly running on the wet grass, while  mothers  tried to calm their irrepressible kids. Some old women with umbrellas were passing by, talking about today's youth. Meanwhile, somewhere nearby loving couples were hiding from the rain, exchanging glances and awkward  smiles. Life was in full swing, in all its diversity, staining the world with bright colors.

But he was not part of this world. He was just another weird guy, who did not deserve people's concern. He was a man without a future, the vagabond with dark past and colorless present. But he did not regret it, because for some time now  people become for him a faceless mass, symbolizing the fact that he was still alive. And now he just stood there and waited, not knowing for what. He seemed to fear that he had no right to be there, in the abode of pure thoughts, blessed sufferings and  innocent dreams.

Woohyun shivered from the cold. He sighed brokenly, hugging himself for warmth. Coming here was a bad idea. He did not know why he kept coming back with such a stubborn persistence. Perhaps, he hoped that here, in the place where people have been asking for a miracle, the miracle was really going to happen. But he did not know what kind of miracle he was hoping for.

He was about to turn around and walk away, when he realized that rain wasn't hitting him anymore..

" You will catch a cold, if you keep standing here."

Woohyun shuddered,  whether because he was taken by surprise or because he had never heard such a sympathetic tone.  For so long no one had spoken to him so kindly.

Looking up, Woohyun saw the guy, holding an umbrella over him. The boy was dressed as a priest and his smile was so bright and sunny that Woohyun immediately dropped his hands, which just a few seconds ago were trying to keep warm  - he was no longer cold.

" I'm fin..." - Woohyun did not finish, because he suddenly sneezed.

" Don't tell me anything," - the stranger laughed,  patting Woohyun's shoulder warmly. - "Come on, I'll treat you to hot tea."

Woohyun frowned. He was annoyed by that lightness, by  that sincere desire to help those who suffer. Because it made Woohyun feel even more pathetic.

" No need, I was leaving ..." - Woohyun turned around, not caring that this stranger was taken aback by his rudeness and  hurrying to escape from this unexpectedly warm smile - the smile, which was so different from the harsh and contemptuous grimaces, which usually surrounded Woohyun.

" I saw you!" - came the sudden hail.

Woohyun turned and raised his eyebrows questioningly, staring at the strange priest, who was holding an umbrella over his head and looking at him  without a smile, but with the same sincere light in his eyes.

" You've been coming here every day," - he continued, coming closer. - "But you've never come inside. Why?"

" If only I knew why," - Woohyun muttered, looking away.

" Then perhaps ..." - the guy took another step towards him and put the hand on his shoulder - "... we can find the answer together?"

Meeting his gaze, Woohyun suddenly felt hope: the hope of finding answers to his questions.


	2. Don't pity me

 

"Come on in, make yourself at home," - the priest said, entering his house.

Woohyun hesitantly walked behind him, looking around the room. It was the most common cell with a minimum set of furniture: a bed, table, couple of stools, shelf cluttered with books and small closet. But what else could be expected from the house attached to the church? Although the furniture seemed sparse, the house was cozy and clean, and Woohyun, despite his suspicion and lack of confidence, shrugged his shoulders with joy, no longer feeling the cold.

And he felt warm not only from the fact that he took refuge from the rain, but from the fact that the atmosphere of the room was literally saturated with hospitality and comfort.

"There are some dry clothes in the closet," - he heard a stranger's voice. - "And I will prepare something to eat ".

With these words the man disappeared in the kitchen, while Woohyun carefully sat on the edge of the bed, not daring to say a word. It was so strange: it was always difficult to confuse him, but now he keenly felt unfamiliar feeling of embarrassment… the embarrassment from the fact, that he couldn't understand this man's motives… The whole situation was too bizarre for him.

 At this moment the home owner came into the room, carrying a tray with tea and cookies.

" Since I don't know what you like, I did not add the milk. But if you want..."

" No, I don’t ... Thank you," - Woohyun frowned involuntarily. Words of thanks felt strange on the tongue, because there was too little to be thankful for in his life.

" Sorry about the mess," - the guy put his tray on the table, glancing around the room in embarrassment. - "I did not have time to clean up."

  
" Um ... it's all right," - Woohyun said, surprised, and  it was past his understanding why would this strange priest be interested in his opinion.

Looking at the sodden guest, the priest shook his head,:

"You can catch a cold," -  he said with a slight  reproach, walking to the closet and pulling out the dry clothes. - "Here you go, it will be more comfortable."

But instead of thanking the helpful guy, Woohyun stood up.

"It does not make sense," - he muttered, heading for the exit.

" Wait, did I do something wrong? - the priest asked anxiously, helplessly holding clothes in one hand.

"Why are you doing that?" - Woohyun replied, without turning around. - "You do not know me, and you act as if you want to help ... I ... I do not trust you ..."

" But I really want to help you," - the voice of the priest relented: this stern guy was definitely confused.

"I'm not going to tell you anything," - Woohyun interrupted roughly, but  nevertheless he turned around.

"And I'm not going to ask anything, as long as you don't not want me to," -  the priest replied peacefully, coming closer and holding out a friendly hand. - "I am Kim Sunggyu".

For a moment Woohyun  was at a loss, not knowing how to react to the man's words. He could not shake off the feeling that this guy was sincere with him, that this guy really was that naive to bring an unfamiliar man home.

" Woohyun," - he said simply, shaking the outstretched hand.

" Nice to meet you, Woohyun," - the priest brightly smiled. - "And now, go change into a dry clothes and come sit at the table.

Moving closer to the bed, Woohyun hesitantly picked up the shirt, as if not knowing whether he had any right to touch someone else's things.

It was a simple shirt, hastily cut out of cheap fabric, but for some reason he felt a rush of warmth through his body, as if it was not just cloth, but a ray of hope that there was someone in this world, who was not indifferent to his fate.

Slowly pulling off his soaking wet shirt, Woohyun tossed it at the nearby stool.

Turning, he saw the guy staring at his back. No wonder: his muscular back was covered with scars and abrasions.

" Do not ask me anything," - Woohyun said sternly, when Sunggyu was going to ask something.

" I won't," - Sunggyu nodded, looking away from his eyes.

What bad things have happened to that guy? Sunggyu watched him with concern and understood that this stone façade was just an attempt to prevent people from reading his mind. But when he looked into his eyes, he saw so much drama, so much shame and struggling, that he wanted nothing but to help that guy to soothe his soul.  
Yes, maybe he was naïve for trusting some random guy, but he always knew, that even a simple smile could save someone's life.

Finished with dressing, Woohyun approached the table that was served with fruits, sweets and two cups of hot tea.

That simple view made his heart flutter, as if these small things created some magical feeling that touched Woohyun's heart. And some strange force was trying to pull the corners of his mouth up, as if trying to ruin his moody image, as if in thanks to that simple and naïve guy.

" It suits you," - Sunggyu remarked with a chuckle, covering his mouth to hide a smile, but he did not quite succeed.

Woohyun looked over his outfit skeptically: the new clothes were a little too big for him, and he looked a little ridiculous.

"I did not know that priests could have a sense of humor," - Woohyun said in a rude tone, sitting at the table across from the guy, but Sunggyu was ready to swear that for a moment there was a smile in his eyes.

" I'm not a priest yet, and I'm still studying to be one,"  - Sunggyu corrected his visitor, pushing the cup closer to him. - " But you look really funny in that outfit."

Taking a sip of tea, Woohyun felt incredibly relieved. As if all bad thoughts were erased by the warmness of tea... or by the warmness, that this guy's eyes radiated.

" Why do you do it?" - Woohyun asked the main question that tormented him from his first meeting with Sunggyu.

For a moment there was a silence. He expectantly looked at the man, while the other thoughtfully stirred his tea with a spoon, apparently choosing right words  to say.

"I just feel that I can help you," - he said suddenly, - " I feel that I know what to do. Because ..."

The guy stopped, as if the suddenly surging memories did not let him continue.

" Because what? .."

" Because there was a time when someone helped me, too," - Sunggyu  finally breathed.

Woohyun lowered his head in confusion, devoting his attention to the cup of warm tea. He did not know what to do in such a situation. He wanted to hear Sunggyu's story, wanted to know why everything that he had felt in recent years he had just seen in the priest's eyes.

"One day I went out and saw you, but I did not attach any importance to this," - Sunggyu continued, with a slight smile watching confusion of the guest. - "But you kept coming again and again... You’ve been just sitting and waiting for something. At first, I really thought you were looking for someone, but one day ... One day, I noticed the way you were looking at the people coming out of church."

On hearing these words, Woohyun looked up, meeting Sunggyu's eyes.

" There was so much despair, so much hopelessness," - he whispered, clutching a cup in his hands, as if the melancholy, which he saw in the other man's eyes, was a cold wind that suddenly enveloped him and caused a cold shiver to run down his spine.

"Don't pity me," - Woohyun angrily hissed. - "And I do not need anyone's help."

Woohyun did not know what had come over him. It was annoying to realize that someone was able to read his thoughts, could guess his feelings. He felt naked, uncovered, like an open book. He felt as if he was about to trust this guy, to trust his warm smile, his soft, sympathetic voice. And he did not want to trust, did not want to tell the truth. Because for some reason he could not bear the idea that the only person who wanted to help him would hate him as much as he hated himself.

" But I do not pity you, I just ... - Sunggyu hesitated, not knowing how to describe his feelings, to characterize the fierce desire to help the guy, whom he did not know. - "I just know how important it is  to realize that someone cares about you, to realize that there is always a way out of any situation, to realize that we can always count on the grace of heaven ..."

At these words Woohyun laughed - evilly, with a sneer.

"Is it what you have been taught in your church schools?" - Woohyun leaned across the table, startling Sunggyu. - "So, all of this is nonsense! We are just puppets, dolls, experiment... And nobody is going to help us. There is no magical powers that can make our lives better in a second. But there are people who will betray us sooner or later... Or there are people like you, naive fools, stuffed with beautiful theories. But you will be soon disappointed."

To his surprise, Sunggyu was completely calm. He steadfastly held Woohyun's stern gaze, and then, when Woohyun's speech was over, gently touched his hand.

" Have you been disappointed in someone? Is it the reason?" - there was such a sincere compassion in his eyes, that Woohyun involuntarily closed his eyes as if to shut out the sight of that look, as if trying to shield the mirror of his soul.

It scared him, it began to seem to Woohyun, that  if he stayed here a little longer, talked to him a little bit more - and he would pour out  all his heart to this guy. It literally made him shiver with fear, as if the most powerful of his phobia was to open up, to believe someone.

"I should not have come here," - Woohyun whispered, getting up from the table and ignoring Sunggyu's guilty look.

"I'm sorry if I was too persistent," - Sunggyu said in a small voice,  not even trying to stop the guy from leaving. He knew that this  tough guys  needed some time to be alone. Because, it seemed that Sunggyu had roused his most painful memories.

" Sorry if I was rude," - Woohyun said back, - "but you can't help me."

With these words he left, and Sunggyu could only stare at the guy's wet clothes, as if confirming that what had happened was real.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please, sorry for mistakes T_T  
> and thank you for reading!))


	3. Maybe you could stay

«Take your keys,» - the old woman said, holding out his keys to him .

"Thanks," - Woohyun replied dryly, walking towards the lift.

"Do not forget about your rent!" - she barked at him.

"I remember," - was all he said.

"Disrespectful brat!" - he heard her saying, but Woohyun didn't care.

He had never had good relationships with houseowner, old single lady, who, after the death of her drunk husband, became an angry witch. And the less he talked with her, the less was the possibility to anger her - and thereby, to make his rent higher.

Woohyun walked through the familiar dark corridor with painted walls, displeased by shouting and loud swearing coming from the apartments of neighbors.

He winced involuntarily, remembering how easy and comfortable it felt in the house of the priest, the lightness and warm atmosphere that was enveloping him in the church.

All the way home he was trying to convince himself that this unexpected acquaintance had no impact on him. But somewhere deep down, he realized that the priest's kindness left an indelible impression on his soul.

He could not remember the last time someone spoke to him like that: without contempt, without hatred, but with sincere participation and kindness.

It seemed, that Woohyun's consciousness developed some immunity against the good intentions and was now trying hard to convince him that Sunggyu could not be sincere. But his body felt a warm sensation, when he recalled the feeling of hot mug of tea in his hands, the softness of someone else's shirt, the smiling gaze on himself.

Opening the door to a cheap little room, he could not help a sigh. His salary was barely enough to support himself, and he had to be content with the cheapest apartments.

The old battered sofa, on which he usually took long naps or aimlessly flipped through TV channels, was covered with clothes and the fast food bags. A little further on there was a single bed with unprepossessing bedside table, that replaced a wardrobe.

All the decoration of the house were limited to a couple of small details, like the old clock, that had been repaired many times, pictures of fruit on the wall, which had been inherited from the former owners, and huge green plant, which, unlike the rest of the house, Woohyun hadn't left unattended.

Woohyun watered it regularly and couldn't understand why he was so attached to the ordinary plant. Perhaps it was his ridiculous attempt to relieve loneliness, though he would never admit to himself that he suffered from being alone.

The atmosphere in the house was not very refined, but for some time now all the comfort and joy of the world took a back seat for Woohyun.

Entering the room, Woohyun hurried to strip off his wet clothes, and only at that moment did he realize that it was the clothes Sunggyu had lent him.

"Damn," - Woohyun swore at himself. - "Absentminded idiot"

How could he forget that he was wearing someone else's clothes?

Woohyun with a sigh sat down in the chair, leaning back his head and closing his eyes wearily. Strangely, the odd conversation with a stranger took all his strength.

His thoughts returned again and again to the moment, when he furiously ran out of Sunggyu's hospitable house, and he was overcome with guilt.

It wasn't that naive guy's fault that Woohyun was afraid to open up to people. Rising from his chair, Woohyun shook his head furiously. No. He had to forget about this guy, his warm smile, his eyes shining with kindness.

He saw a lot of bad things, but nothing had frightened him as much as this guy's kindness. Perhaps, because Sunggyu was able to penetrate into the depths of Woohyun's soul… Without any effort.

Woohyun rose up from the chair and moved to the kitchen counter. He grabbed a pack of instant noodles, mechanically picking up an empty dish - this act in recent years had become all too familiar to him.

While preparing his meager lunch, he kept looking at the wet t-shirt, lying on the couch, as if it was an intruder, disturbing his peace and from time to time reminding him about its presence.

"I am not obliged to return it to him," - he told himself, furiously tearing a pack of ramen. - "He gave it to me. And after what I've done ... "

Woohyun vigorously shook his head, absently pouring the water into the bowl.

"What if he thought that I myself wanted to return to the church? But I absolutely do not want to see him again, no. I just need to throw it out... "

Woohyun sat down on a chair, still looking at the shirt.

"On the other hand, I left mine at his house. There is nothing wrong that I want to pick up my things. It's true, isn't it? "- he asked himself, and at that moment the whole weight of the world was lifted off his shoulders, as he finally managed to find an excuse for the desire to see the smiling guy again.

Sometimes life is too cruel. It seems, life is angry at people for not appreciating it, life tries to teach, to test the person. And sometimes life can be overzealous, like the sleepy examiner, spouting venom at his innocent students. And life perfectly knows that destinies depends on its actions, that one careless test can change someone's destiny radically. And if the person manages to overcome this ill-fated test, then nothing can break him. And who knows, perhaps, all the unhappy twists of fate are just an attempt of life to make us stronger. Attempt to throw us at the bottom, so that life could solemnly put us on Olympus of happy feelings and emotions.

****

Sunggyu with a sigh sat down on a stool to rest, wiping the sweat from his forehead and looking at the result of his work with satisfaction. Still, there was a lot of work to be done, but one could clearly see traces of his hard labor. He built a playground for children under the care of the church. They were orphans, children with disabilities and simply abandoned by useless parents.

Tools and materials were scattered everywhere, and Sunggyu could only guess how long it might take to cleaning the territory. But he did not complain: he was happy to see smiles of children, who were already running between future slides, swings and figures. For him, it was as natural as breathing. Children's smiles were a his reward, the ultimate goal, to which he aspired. He wanted to make the lives of these children, with whom he spent a lot of time and to whom he often lectured, better, happier... happier than the one he had.

Looking at the children running around, Sunggyu could not help thinking back to yesterday's events, to the moment when the strange, stern man had crossed the threshold of his house. Sunggyu still hoped to see him again. He did not know what it was that attracted him: that emptiness in his eyes, or the feeling of the similarity of their experiences and worries. Was he too insistent, had he crossed the line?

The priest blinked lazily in the sun: the weather today was much better than yesterday, and it gave him some hope, that the storm in Woohyun's soul also would be replaced by the sun, and he would return one day. At this moment he spotted a familiar silhouette and could not restrain a happy smile.

"So you have come after all!" - he exclaimed, standing up to greet him.

"I just ... I decided to bring your clothes and take mine... " - Woohyun muttered, rubbing his neck awkwardly.

Sunggyu with a smile watched the stubborn man, who was voluntarily trying to find an excuse for his return .

"I'm glad you came. I'm sorry our last conversation didn't go so well, but now ... "

" To be honest, I have a lot to do... "- Woohyun said, not rudely, but softly, almost apologizing for the fact that he could not overcome his pride, and Sunggyu realized that he was on the right track.

The priest knew that Woohyun felt some guilt for the way he behaved at their last meeting, so he decided to take the first step to improve relations with the tough guy.

"Woohyun, listen, the last time ... I stuck my nose in your business, I'm sorry," - Sunggyu was thoughtfully tugging on a clean shirt, which was returned to him by the guy.

" It’s all right. I guess all priests have a habit of trying to help everyone, " - Woohyun sheepishly grinned, which was enough to make Sunggyu break into a wide smile.

" I'm just studying to be a priest. I'm not one yet," - Sunggyu corrected him once again.

"Then I can't imagine what will happen when you become one. There would be no suffering person in the world, "- Woohyun joked gently, and a wave of incredible relief covered Sunggyu - it seemed, that, finally, he was able to break through the rugged barrier between him and Woohyun.

And now he had to be careful and not frighten the fleeting rapport established between them. He wanted to be worthy of Woohyun's trust.

"In this case, since you're here and there is no misunderstandings between us, maybe you could stay for a while?" - Sunggyu suggested and he was sure that for a moment Woohyun's empty eyes flashed with bright gratitude and relief.


	4. Heaven's predestination

"I still can't believe you convinced me to stay," - Woohyun muttered, walking next to  soon-to-be priest.

They walked through a small garden full of happy children. The kids were watched by several priests, who were looking at them with a fond smile.  The sun was shining brightly, reflecting in the sparkling eyes of orphans. It was peaceful and pleasant  there and Woohyun couldn't help but relax and simply enjoy the passage of time.

"I myself can't believe it," - Sunggyu grinned. - "Maybe it's Heaven's predestination?"

"You priests, always like to explain everything by God's will," - Woohyun smiled grimly, throwing a skeptical glance at the clear sky.

"And do you believe?.." - Sunggyu paused and looked at the guy expectantly .

He could not believe in Woohyun's complete lack of faith. Of course, that guy might not have understood it, but the fact that he came to the church every day , pointed out that even if he didn't believe, he was at least willing to try and open up to a new life.

 "All religious theories live only in your subconscious mind, they exist as long as you believe in them. And if my life  is also a result of God's will, then I'm sorry, but I do not want to be grateful for that, "- Woohyun stared at the ground glumly. And seeing his sad face, Sunggyu realized that this guy's life had not been the easiest.

"But, despite this, you've come here yourself ..." - he said quietly, putting a reassuring hand on man’s  shoulder.

"I ..." - Woohyun hesitated, not knowing what to say.

It's hard to trust someone when you've been betrayed many times. It's hard to think that you need somebody, because it automatically makes you a hostage to your doubts. And if you still doubt - you doubles your suffering. And if you decide to believe - it reduces your pain, until it is completely healed. And perhaps Woohyun was a fool, but he wanted to taste that illusive hope - the hope that his suffering would disappear.

"Woohyun, you do not believe just because the fate has not given you happiness. But God never promised to be your wallet with money and easy life. He has given you so many choices. Therefore, you should not dump all the responsibility on him," – the soon-to-be priest smiled gently, looking sympathetically at the tough guy.

"Maybe this is why I'm afraid to believe?” - Woohyun looked at the priest, and at that moment Sunggyu was able to capture the familiar stare he first saw under the rain - the vulnerable, confused, lost. - "Maybe I'm just afraid that the reason for all the bad things that were happening to me are my wrong choices ?"

"But it's never too late to believe... If not in religion, then at least in yourself," - Sunggyu   looked fondly at  passing children. - "Look at them. All these children have been abandoned by their parents because they were sick, disabled or simply unwanted. But they seem to be so happy here! They are just happy because of an ordinary playground slide. And when I see their smiles, I feel that my life was not lived in vain. "

The kind man was smiling proudly as he watched the children squealing happily and for a moment forgetting about the injustice of Fate. And Woohyun felt involuntarily a strange feeling of joy, the same proudness, which priest was feeling. It seemed, that the darkness in his soul was turning into light  because of Sunggyu's bright smile and he was becoming better under the aura of this light-hearted guy.

It seemed that the sun, for a moment, gave its place to Sunggyu, allowing him to illuminate the world with his radiant smile.

Involuntarily Woohyun wanted to contribute to this noble effort, to invest part of his soul in someone else's happiness. The feeling which he had not experienced for many years.

“But isn’t it boring to be a saint?” — he asked , trying to distract himself from the familiar warmth, that was spreading through him. It felt as if  his heart that had been frozen for so long begun to melt under the warm, honey voice of that guy, and he didn’t know, whether it was a torment or a pleasure to him.

“Priests always have a lot of work to do,” — priest  laughed, mechanically rubbing his rough palms together. — “And it’s worth it.”

 "You did all this yourself?" - Woohyun asked in surprise, nodding towards  the unfinished playground.

"No, we are a team of volunteers, who volunteered to build a playground for children,” - Sunggyu pointed towards the young men looking after children. – “We are studying together."

"It is noble,”  - the tough guy nodded and couldn't help feeling a small pang of envy: these children were much happier than he was at their age. – “The kids are so happy. I think they love you. "

"These children were left in the care of the church,” - Sunggyu  looked fondly at the kids, all too well knowing a sad story of each of them, and then put his head down, trying to hide the sadness in his eyes. - "I just know what it is like when no one cares for you."

Catching a glimpse of anguish in Sunggyu’s eyes, Woohyun felt his heart clench: he wasn’t the only one, struggling with inner pain, and they seemed to have more in common, than he had expected.

"And these guys, volunteers, you're talking about... Do they live here, too?" — Woohyun asked, trying to lift the guy from his sudden gloom.

"No, they live with their parents," — priest shook his head.

"Then ..." - suddenly a hunch flashed through his mind.

"I used to be  one of them. I was a kid, brought up in the church," - Sunggyu confessed, staring into his eyes.

"I don't know if I have the right to ask ..." - Woohyun began, but Sunggyu nodded, continuing his story:

"I was born into a dysfunctional family. My parents were drinking heavily and not paying attention to me. So I spent a lot of time on the street. "

The man took a deep breath, looking at the sky, as if trying again to revive the memories that he had worked so hard to erase. But if he wanted Woohyun to trust him, he had to be honest.

"One day I just went out, not wanting to see them destroying themselves with alcohol, and wandered through the empty streets, hoping that someone  would take pity on me and give me some food,”  - he continued, frowning slightly, but then brightened, with a grateful smile uttering the following words: - “And one day I was found by a priest. I don't know where I'd be now if not for him. "

"So you decided to become a priest like him?" - Woohyun asked quietly.

"I thank heaven for having given me a chance and saved me," - Sunggyu  looked at Woohyun with a smile. - " And I hope someday you will trust me enough to tell your story."

But Woohyun did not answer. He seemed to be thinking hard about something.

"Sunggyu," - he suddenly said.

"Yes?"

"Can I ... can I come again? I could help with your work... "- Woohyun asked uncertainly.

"Of course!  I was going to offer it to you! "- Sunggyu's smile was so joyful that Woohyun almost regretted his request: he was beginning to trust him too much.

"Actually, I am very busy, but to see these children's smiles..." - _and to see you again._

"I'll be glad..." - Sunggyu whispered with a smile, but then added sheepishly. - "And our  kids will be happy!"

And at that moment Sunggyu for the first time saw Woohyun's sincere smile - not a smirk, but a wide, joyful smile.

***

Too often we think that life is unfair only to us. And  we feel lonely, as if we are the only ones   suffering in this world. But there are many poor people, whose hearts are full of dark frustration. And when a struggling heart finds another, with the same pain, they heal each other, no longer alone. Therefore, the key to happiness is to find someone who will be able to share your pain and make it smaller and smaller, until it completely disappears.


	5. I want it too

****

"Are you a gangster?" - after hearing an unexpected question, Woohyun placed his tools aside and wiped the sweat from his forehead, glancing at the little girl, who was staring curiously down at him.

She was wearing a faded dress and her hands firmly held the small teddy bear.

"Do I look like one?" -  the corners of Woohyun's mouth crept up into a smile at the sight of the girl nodding her head vigorously.

He had been working intently for several hours already, oblivious  to the curious glances of the kids. Sunggyu quickly made an agreement with other volunteers to accept Woohyun into the team.

And this feeling of belonging to a noble cause, the curious glances of children, engagement in the work - all  lulled him into some kind of euphoria,  as if he had been doing it all his life, as if  the dark events of his life that he replayed in his head every day never existed.

"But Sunggyu says that you're not a gangster," - the girl continued, boldly stepping forward and placing her small palm on his face.

"And what does Sunggyu say about me?" - the man raised his eyebrows,  playfully tapping the tip of her nose with his finger.

The girl wrinkled her nose funnily, causing him to smile wildly. And  girl immediately smiled back, there was no  fear  in her big eyes anymore. As if Woohyun had passed the test  and become worthy of her trust.

"He says you're lost," - she said confidently.

"Lost?" - the smile slowly faded from his face. Now that he thought about it, he really felt lost.

Now that he thought about it, he really felt lost. As if he had forgotten the way to his house, and wandered through the chaotic maze, until he saw a heart-warming light, which led him to peace of the soul; until he saw Sunggyu's smile, that managed to illuminate the darkest crannies of his soul, like a magical torch. Only now he realized how lucky he'd been to meet Sunggyu - the man, who allowed him to feel the peace and comfort,  even if only for a few hours.

"Yes, you are lost and don't know where is your home. But  all the lost children find their home here. And you'll find it, too! "- the little orphan smiled happily, and Woohyun's heart sank. These children had experienced so many bad things in their  lives, but they did not lose hope, turning every bad memory into a game, and truly believed that happiness would enter their lives soon. As well as they believed in fairy tales,  that were told to them by the nuns.

And for some reason, he felt himself a little boy, who wanted to believe that everything would be good from now on. But wasn't  it also just a fairy tale, that was so easy to believe because of the hope hidden in the depths of his soul? He hoped not.

Woohyun  patted the girl on the head gratefully, appreciating her efforts to share   the hope that  lit her heart with him. It turned out, it meant a lot to him.

"I will," - he whispered.

"It's not polite to bother people when they are working," - he heard Sunggyu's soft voice, and little girl immediately rushed to hug her favourite volunteer.

After patting her hair in a fatherly way, Sunggyu whispered something in her ear, and she happily ran away, waving goodbye  to Woohyun.

"I'm sorry, she is too talkative, but it is lunch-time now, so you can rest a bit without people wandering around," - the priest laughed, and then sat down beside Woohyun, holding out a glass of lemonade for him. - "It is hot today, and I thought that you might want to drink ..."

"Thank you," - Woohyun said in a barely audible voice, carefully looking at the guy next to him.

This guy was always smiling. During the little time  Woohyun had spent with him, the tough guy realized, that smile more frequently illumined his usually stern face, as if Sunggyu's cheerfulness was a virus, affecting everyone who had the good fortune to communicate with him. His soft voice, his eyes shining with kindness, his implacable smile involuntarily kindled a warmth in Woohyun's heart. And if earlier Woohyun was afraid that he took a fancy to Sunggyu too easily, now all the negative thoughts were put aside.

His instinct of self-preservation was now replaced by a feeling of incredible gratitude, relief and hope. That warm feeling never left him since he had met Sunggyu,  and that feeling began to grow and turn into something inexplicable.

"Woohyun, is something wrong? "- noticing his gaze on himself, Sunggyu felt uncomfortable. There was something indefinable in the guy's eyes, and the priest could not say for sure whether it was good or bad feeling.

"No, I just ... I just feel so strange ... I haven't felt so nice in a long timed," - he said sincerely,  holding onto the glass tightly. - "It's so peaceful here ..."

He liked the atmosphere of general cheerfulness, smiles that people exchanged with each other. Previously he had only watched it all from the outside, but now he had become a part of it.

"I'm glad," - Sunggyu looked at him with a smile. He could tell that Woohyun was beginning to open up to him, was beginning to feel freer. The priest felt that the tough guy was tied up by huge chains, which Sunggyu tried hard to remove from him and which he was finally able to move a little. And maybe his efforts to reach the heart of a troubled stranger might have seemed  like a stunt, Sunggyu felt the urgent need to help him. - "And what do you do in everyday life?"

"Moonlighting here and there... ," - Woohyun said, sipping lemonade. - "My houseowner is a witch, and i should pay the rent in time each month."

"So, maybe you should try to say something nice to her?" -  Sunggyu laughed, imagining Woohyun's  dialogue with an elderly lady.

"I don't really get along with people," - Woohyun smirked. - "For her, I'm just an ordinary tramp, without a family, education, life goals ..."

"And have you ever thought about going to University?" - Sunggyu asked seriously, and Woohyun immediately coughed, obviously finding the idea amusing.

"University?"- He laughed, putting the glass aside. - "I would need money for that, and I barely have enough money to pay the rent. In addition, guys like me do not study at Universities ... "

"What do you mean, like you?" - Sunggyu frowned. - "I understand that you don't trust me, that you are hiding some bitter truth behind a stern façade, but ... Even if you have made mistakes, I'm sure you've already suffered enough for them. You have to move on and you are able to do it! I can help you with studying. And if you're worried about money, there is a lot of work in our church... "

"Sunggyu," - Woohyun said softly. - "You know nothing about me. I could have turned out to be a criminal, who would have robbed you and disappeared. Why did you believe me? "

"You're not a criminal, I know that... I can feel it," - Sunggyu bit his lip, embarrassed. - "You may think that I'm naive, but I believe what I see!"

"And what do you see?" - Woohyun chuckled softly. - "Rude, uncouth, wretched vagabond, whose sole purpose in life is to hide from the world? You're just pitying me, trying to add points in your bank of noble deeds ... "

"Why ..." - Sunggyu stopped, looking away sadly. - "Why, every time I try to say something good about you, you make it seem like I'm trying to insult you? I would not share my personal story with every passer-by... "

Woohyun rose abruptly, rubbing his eyes wearily, as if trying to calm down, to cope with the flood of emotions, that were too strong for him. Woohyun turned to Sunggyu, who was watching the tough guy anxiously, and said with a trembling voice:

"Maybe it's because I do not deserve your kind words? Maybe a person like me had to be beaten again and again by fate? When you are smiling so friendly, when you're trying to help ... I feel  like I'm stealing something! I don't want you to ... Sunggyu? "

Woohyun could not finish because Sunggyu grabbed him in a sudden hug . His first reaction was to push Sunggyu away, but his hands stopped halfway, when he heard a soft, dejected whisper:

"All this time you were coming here, alone... It was as if I saw myself, the boy, lonely and lost .."

"You can't be me," - Woohyun said quietly, as if someone could hear them in the deserted alley.

Children and volunteers had long gone for lunch already, and their solitude was broken only by sudden wind gently patting their hair, as if comforting, as if the nature wanted to hug her children, too... Children who had experienced so much evil in their lives.

"Yeah, maybe I don't have the same remorse you feel, but ... at nights, when the kids go to bed, and volunteers go to their homes, to families, I return to my lonely room  and just sit there, staring at the floor ... Like you did before, when first  I saw you, "- the priest took a deep breath, caressing Woohyun's neck with a warm breath and feeling a slight trembling of the tough guy. - "I'm sorry if I'm too intrusive, but I really want to be your friend."

Woohyun was barely breathing for fear that his careless breath would give away his excitement. His heart was beating so fast that it seemed as if people from another planet could hear it. He had never in his life been hugged like that  - warmly, tenderly, without any malice. It seemed that Sunggyu was not embracing him, but sharing his calmness, his heart's warmth with him, and Woohyun found himself  leaning closer as his eyes closed. At this moment his arms went up, and he returned the hug.

"I think I want it too ..." - he muttered in a barely audible voice.


	6. It's an attraction

"Hey, where are you leading me?" - Woohyun asked suspiciously.

"I want to introduce you to somebody special!" - Sunggyu replied mysteriously, while continuing walking through the long empty corridor.

"Listen," - Woohyun stopped Sunggyu and looked into his eyes seriously. - "This whole strange situation of becoming friends and etc… It was great, but ... If you take me into some kind of shelter or to the psychologist, I'll leave immediately."

The priest sighed indulgently with a shake of his head. In spite of everything, this stern guy still could not fully trust him. It felt as if Sunggyu had started a challenging quest, and when it seemed to him that he had picked up the correct key, it turned out he was wrong, and he was returning back to the start position.

"They are my friends, Woohyun," - he said with a soft smile, touching the shoulder of an anxious guy. - "They had helped me like no one else had. And I think you will like them. "

Seeing the strict determination in his eyes, Woohyun could not help but calm down. Sunggyu's voice had this strange calming effect, like a fragrant essential oil, filling the air and soothing his every tense nerve. He ruffled his hair, looking around huntedly. He did not know what to expect from this guy, but once again his mind succumbed to the gentle look and sincere voice.

"Well, I ... I believe you," - he said, nodding obediently.

"Thank you," - Sunggyu said, sincerely. He was indeed grateful to the boy for coming here, for selflessly helping the children with a playground, for no longer trying to push him away. - "For me it means a lot that you’re slowly starting to trust me."

"Are all priests as weird as you are?" - Woohyun muttered, looking away. The guy was embarrassed by his own obedience, and by how easily he gave up at the sight of this magical smile.

It seemed, as if some enchanted fairy showered Sunggyu with magical pollen at birth, and now no one could resist the charms of his nature. There was something attractive in Sunggyu, some inner light, abundant love to the world, some ... blessed, divine spark ... a spark of immeasurable grace.

"It is sad to realize that a sincere desire to help is considered weird in that world," – the priest chuckled, not at all offended at him. - "By the way, we are finally here."

Stopping in front of a massive wooden door, decorated with carved reliefs and colored mosaics, Sunggyu turned to Woohyun, smiling with anticipation of the upcoming meeting. Meanwhile, Woohyun heard the children's laughter, coming from behind the closed door, and frowned:

"Don't say me that ..."

But Sunggyu did not let him finish, as the door burst open, presenting dozens of pairs of prying eyes.

"You've got to be kidding me..." - Woohyun gasped, staring at kids, while the other man was secretly enjoying the priceless reaction of the guy.

"Good afternoon, children!" - with these words, Sunggyu entered the room, where the children were sitting at their desks with open books in front of them.

Woohyun followed him by inertia, awkwardly, helplessly looking at the children. Apparently, it was something like a classroom space, because the walls were hung with pictures of letters and some basic arithmetic rules, and there were a small whiteboard and shelves with children's books here.

The arrival of a stranger aroused mixed reactions. Some kids were looking at him with surprise, some immediately hid behind other children, some were waving at the visitor with big smiles, as if he had been an old friend.

Woohyun shifted awkwardly from foot to foot, occasionally tossing Sunggyu a questioning look. 

"Why have you brought me here?" - he said in a barely audible voice, squinting at Sunggyu in displeasure.

"These children are my students," - the priest explained tenderly. - "We are having free lesson, and I thought it would be great to introduce you to them. Moreover, I did not want to leave you alone. "

"And what should I do?" - the guy finally gave up. - "I don't know how to behave around children."

"You quickly found a common language with one of our students," - Sunggyu reasonably pointed out.

"She was alone... And there are a lot of them now," - Woohyun said, bewildered, as if the children in front of him were a gang of notorious thugs. Although, the bandits had never given him so much anxiety, as a crowd of young children.

"Just be yourself, Woohyun, you will like them," – the priest patted him on the back encouragingly. - "These children have rarely received affection, so they would be happy with your attention."

Turning to the children, he pointed at Woohyun:

"Children, please, meet Woohyun. Today, he will be helping me to conduct the lesson. "

Upon hearing these words, children squealed loudly, welcoming a new person.

"He looks scary," - one of the most courageous boys said, eyeing them curiously.

Woohyun smirked knowingly and then quietly said:

"I told you, it won't work."

But Sunggyu was not going to give up so easily.

"Kids, what did we do last lesson?" - he asked.

"Sunggyu was teaching us about the animals!" - one of the kids loudly announced. He was wearing large glasses and old-fashioned shorts with suspenders, and he was apparently the most diligent of students.

"Right! So, today Woohyun would mimic the animals, of which I spoke last time," - with these words he glanced at the stunned guy. - "You won't deny that to children, will you?"

"Why don't you just admit that you wanted to see me crawling on all fours and barking," – he mumbled in displeasure, folding his hands. Sunggyu kicked the sulking man in the ribs encouragingly, and then hastened to get to the point, fearing he would change his mind:

"So, what animal would you like to see first of all?"

The girl in a faded old dress with patches raised her hand and shyly muttered:

"A rabbit..."

Sunggyu could hardly suppress his laughter. Upon hearing her request, Woohyun raised his eyebrows in surprise: he would never have thought that one day he, the guy with difficult childhood, severe adolescence and stony heart, would have to depict a rabbit, at his own will. Watching his inner conflict, the priest raised his eyebrows expectantly.

Taking a deep breath, Woohyun lifted his fingers to his head and reluctantly portrayed a rabbit with long ears, while uttering funny sounds and pouting cutely. The kids burst into ringing laughter, and priest didn't even try to hide his laughter anymore.

Seeing how happy the children and Sunggyu were, Woohyun could not help the wide grin.

Seeing their bright, carefree smiles, which were hiding the years of hard life, he felt the warmth spreading through him - as if the thankfulness, that children felt, penetrated into the very depths of his heart, as a miracle cure for sadness.

"And now, the puppy!" - another girl shouted cheerfully .

"At this rate, I would soon believe in divine punishment for sins," - Woohyun muttered, faking disapproval, but still folding his hands under his chin and sticking out his tongue.

"This is too funny!" - Sunggyu was dying of laughter, and children were immediately infected by his mood, enjoying together with their beloved mentor.

Thereafter Woohyun showed a few more animals and even allowed the kids to ride on his back. Sunggyu was watching this scene with incredible gratitude. Initially, he was not sure of his decision to introduce the man to children. He was afraid to frighten him, afraid that Woohyun would think he was interfering in his life. But now he realized that deep down inside Woohyun was still a child, who did not have enough love.

Every day Sunggyu discovered more beautiful and pleasant sides of him. Despite his offishness and alienation, Woohyun was benevolent and unselfish, behind the mask of callous indifference there was a bright, shiny smile hiding. And seeing the happiness of kids and Woohyun, Sunggyu was becoming happier, too.

"Now, dear children, what would your last wish be?" - Sunggyu spoke loudly.

"Show us 'the love'," - a small boy suddenly shouted.

"Love?" - Sunggyu raised his eyebrows in surprise, and then shook his head indulgently. - "Love is not an animal. And what do you think it is?"

"Love is when you share your food with someone?" - another boy naively assumed, causing Sunggyu to smile gently.

"Not really," - he said, and then turned to Woohyun. - "And what does Woohyun think about it? What is love?"

"Um, it's ... It's an attraction," - he said at random.

"And what is the attraction?" - the same boy asked persistently .

"This is ..." - Woohyun looked around awkwardly, not knowing how to explain, but then his eyes came across Sunggyu's approving smile, and for a moment he froze.

He seemed to be falling from reality under the direct, gentle gaze. There were no children around, there were only he and Sunggyu in the world. For some reason, at that moment the right words clearly surfaced in his mind, as if his heart suddenly realized something, and body tried to send a signal to his mind, indicating what kind of heat it was, what was that blessed light, illuminating his soul. And Woohyun could not explain this sudden weird feeling: was it belief in God that so belatedly began to penetrate into the depths of his subconscious? Or was it something else, as well as faith, previously unknown to his hard heart? - "Love is when you are attracted to a person."

Seeing the serious face of severe man, children became silent, listening to him with interest.

"It is when you realize that this person is making your life better... when you want to get closer, to touch..." - Woohyun stared at Sunggyu, who nodded with a smile in response to his words. He was in a state of some whim, as if all this sudden joy that he had experienced in the last few days had now resulted in a state of strange euphoria. He didn't fantasize right now - he translated images that arose in his mind, he said exactly what he felt. And the reason of that truth was Kim Sunggyu. - "When you can't help but smile, watching his crescent eyes glittering. When you melt because of the sound of his honey voice. When his laughter warms you like the sun. It is when you can't help it, and drown in this gaze ... "

At this moment Woohyun realized that Sunggyu was not just a random person. The priest became for him a salutary oasis, which Woohyun at first took to be a mirage. And if earlier he had been afraid that illusion would soon dissipate, now it was real. The strange feeling that priest had caused in him began to take shape.

"And who do you love?" - one of the children suddenly asked, and the temporary mirage was interrupted.

"I ..." - Woohyun's frightened eyes widened, as if by force of sudden realization, and then he vigorously shook his head, stepping toward the door.

"Woohyun, wait, what happened?" - Sunggyu grabbed his arm.

"I'm sorry, I ... I have to go," - the guy whispered and went out of the classroom.

For a few seconds Sunggyu helplessly watched the children, wondering what could have caused such a reaction from an unpredictable guy, and then ran out into the corridor after Woohyun. The guy was walking rapidly toward the main exit, with his hands in his pockets and his head down.

"Woohyun!" - the priest called, hoping that he would not run away, but Woohyun immediately stopped and turned to face him.

Coming closer to the guy, Sunggyu was trying to read his expression. Was he angry? Was he hurt? The man wanted to guess his feelings, to find the right words, but he read only a strange confusion in the eyes of the guy, frustration and... fear?

"Woohyun, have I done something wrong?" - he asked, frowning.

"It seems you're the only person in this world, who is worried about my fate. And you know, I am grateful to you for appearing in my life, "- Woohyun said with a sad, almost guilty, smile.

"But why?.."

"It's not your fault. I'm sorry, but I'd better go. "

Sunggyu's shoulders slumped helplessly. He felt guilty, but could not understand what he had done wrong, what could have startled the delicate balance, which only began to settle in the soul of unfortunate guy. But he knew that now no amount of persuasion could help him convince the guy to stay, because there was some strange, internal fear in Woohyun's eyes.

And he was afraid that further inquiries would only make it worse. Because despite how quickly they became friends and how much time they spent together, Woohyun still remained an unsolved mystery to him.

"If something happens ... And even if nothing happens, and if you need to talk to somebody..."

"I know I can rely on you. Thank you for everything, "- with these words Woohyun left, and suddenly Sunggyu was certain that he won't come back.


	7. Fall...

Woohyun frowned at the bottle of beer, touching the cold glass lightly with his fingertips. Loud music drowned out his unpleasant thoughts, but he did not dare to take another sip and let the alcohol to drown out all of his thoughts.

"Seeing as how you're being unfair to me, I start to believe you really exist," - Woohyun sadly smiled, casting a quick glance at the ceiling. - "But I cannot accuse you of injustice, I am really pathetic..."

He looked at the bottle with a rueful grin.

" I couldn't fall any lower," - Woohyun closed his eyes, unable to bear the pain of sudden realization. - "Fall in love with a priest ... huh…"

This all seemed terribly absurd to him. His whole life was a kaleidoscope of wrong choices, and when he finally decided to change his life and become a good person, he had to ruin his life again. But he could not help it. Closing his eyes, Woohyun saw that smile again. He wanted to fool himself that it was just a gratitude, but his heart suggested a correct answer.

Finally taking a sip from his drink, the guy winced, looking around slowly. People danced happily, oblivious to the suffering of an ordinary drinker at the bar. And why couldn't he be just like them? Why couldn't he just get drunk to unconsciousness and forget about everything. Forget about Sunggyu.

"No, I shouldn't see him anymore," - he whispered.

He could not let Sunggyu hate him. Woohyun was ready to return to his lonely, aimless life. At least that way he could preserve the memory of priest’s smile rather than grimace of disgust for his sinful feelings.

Sometimes it seems that we punish ourselves. Dooming ourselves within the framework of common rules, we crush the grains of rare happiness. But if loving someone is a sin, then why an attempt to fight these beautiful feelings is not also considered a sin, a deliberate killing of joy in the soul. Isn't it a greater sin to ruin your life because of the fear of being happy? After all, love is not just an electric discharge. Love is a feeling, and feelings are awarded to us by the heavens. And the denial of these feelings is a denial of heaven's present, the rejection of that grace, which is sent down to us from above.

Woohyun vigorously shook his head. Before meeting Sunggyu, he lived in unrelieved darkness, he seemed to voluntarily put himself into a mental prison, not allowing himself a single happy emotion. Somewhere deep inside, he thought that he did not deserve to be happy. But with Sunggyu's advent, came a ray of light in that darkness. The kind priest managed to reach the depths of Woohyun's subconscious, and replaced this ridiculous idea of his worthlessness with hope for happiness.

But just as things started to get better, Woohyun had to ruin everything.

No, Sunggyu was not supposed to know about his feelings. He wanted to return to his former life, to punish himself, because it was easier not to see Sunggyu, than being hated by him.

Woohyun smashed the glass on the floor angrily and headed for the exit, roughly pushing those who happened to get in the way.

" Hey easy, boy!" - he heard an unfamiliar voice and was thrown to the ground. Woohyun, whose mind was a bit hazy because of alcohol and loud music, got up and hit the one who pushed him. A fight ensued. They exchanged severe punches, which forced the air out of his body, and suddenly a memories from the past flashed before him. Pausing for a moment, he missed a blow, and then a few more. But he could not move - the memories of the past had firmly stuck in his mind. He was beaten, and he felt himself the most pathetic man on the earth. At some moment Woohyun was thrown into the street, like he was a drunkard.

Rising from his knees, Woohyun grabbed his bruised shoulder and headed into the darkness, not knowing where his feet were taking him.

***

Sunggyu was awakened by a loud, insistent knocking at the door. Sleepily rubbing his eyes, he looked at his watch, surprised to find that it was already late at night

"Who could it be at this hour?" - he thought in surprise, hurriedly getting out of bed and pulling on his simple shirt. Perhaps something bad had happened, and any delay could be fatal.

"What happe ..." - opening the door, Sunggyu paused in amazement. Before him stood Woohyun, tired and miserable. His body was covered with bruises and abrasions, he kept holding his shoulder and stooped. - "Woohyun, how did this happen?"

"I'm sorry, but I didn't know where else to go," – his guest said hoarsely, regretting his decision to come here. Seeing the anxious face of the priest, he felt again the pleasant warmth, that feared him so much.

Without a word, Sunggyu guided the beaten guy into the room. After a short look on the unmade bed, Woohyun felt a twinge of conscience.

"Sit down," - Sunggyu said softly, sitting down on his bed and pulling out a small first aid kit.

"Sorry for interrupting your sleep," – the beaten guy whispered apologetically, as if his voice could disturb the peace of the priest even more.

"It's okay," - Sunggyu smiled, like there was a child in front of him, who came into his room because of the nightmare. - "I told you that you can come here anytime you want. "

"I always cause troubles," - Woohyun muttered under his breath.

Shaking his head, the kind man moved closer and gently touched his wounded cheek, rubbing the ointment upon it. Woohyun flinched, feeling the cold touch, and barely resisted the urge to close his eyes: Sunggyu's face was so close, and he wanted to enjoy this moment as long as possible.

Sunggyu treated his wounds intently, while Woohyun admired him, admired the first time when someone cared about him. And this feeling, which he had been cursing just a few hours ago, like a mysterious illness seeped into his veins, into his very heart, capturing his consciousness. And that disease had a strange symptom: the more he was sick, the happier he felt.

For a moment their eyes met, and they both froze. It seemed that Sunggyu could see Woohyun's inner thoughts in his eyes, and suddenly shivers ran through Woohyun's body: he was scared that he wouldn't be able to control himself, that he would give away all his emotions to the priest, who fascinatedly watched the blossoming of new feelings in Woohyun's eyes. There was a silent amazement in Sunggyu's gaze, as if he had caught some subtle and frightening light, but could not understand what was this attractive light — the light of faith, hope and ...

At this point, Sunggyu inadvertently hurt him, and injured man quietly hissed in pain, reluctantly breaking eye contact.

"Woohyun, no, what have I done!" – the priest panicked, while Woohyun was touching his aching cheek. - "I'm sorry, please forgive me, I did not mean ..."

"Sunggyu," - Woohyun could not help a fond smile. - "Stop apologizing ... You've done more for me than anyone else in this world."

"I'm sorry, sometimes I am afraid that what I do is not enough... Maybe because it's the first time I spend the evening not alone," - Sunggyu smiled happily, and Woohyun could not help but smile back.

Strangely, but all that time, it seemed to him that Sunggyu introduced new colors in his life. But it turned out that he was no less a consolation to the lonely priest. And it was a strange feeling. It seemed that if he wanted to finally reconcile with himself, he needed to become a ray of hope for someone else... the same hope, which he had sought for so long.

"It is also the first time for me in a long time, when I spend an evening not alone," - Woohyun grinned sheepishly.

"Then we need to repeat such evenings more often," – the other guy laughed in relief, and then folded his hands together and closed his eyes.

"What are you doing?" - Woohyun asked in surprise.

"I’m praying," - Sunggyu opened eyes and smiled indulgently. - "But I won't force you to do the same. Even if you do not believe in God, he knows about your pure intentions and sincere desires. You're not ready to open your soul to the blessed light, but that light will still follow you. "

"Because he's watching us?"

"No, because there is a little bit of God in each of us. And even if you are talking to yourself, your prayers will still be heard. "

Closing his eyes, Sunggyu started whispering something barely audible, and Woohyun enjoyed watching him. He watched as his long eyelashes trembled heartwarmingly, as his lips muttered the sincere words, as his soft hands firmly locked in a touching desire to convey his request to the sky ... An aura of simplicity, sincerity and realness was reigning around the priest.

Woohyun was convinced that he prayed for everyone and everything: for peace, for abandoned children, for Woohyun.

It seemed that this blessed light, which the kind priest was talking about, was Sunggyu himself, and Woohyun felt the urge to reveal his soul even more.

"Sunggyu," - when he heard Woohyun saying his name, the priest finished the prayer and gave him a worried glance: man's voice was too serious, and his eyes were heavy with unexplained emotions. - "You can't imagine how thankful I am to you!"

Hearing these words, Sunggyu smiled with relief. One day he saw the stern guy’s real smile, bright and sincere, and Sunggyu was afraid to see the gloom, with which he once came, again. He wanted to help him, because he felt a strange connection between them, a parallel which connected their fates, so different, but at the same time so similar. Heavens hadn't brought him here for nothing, and Sunggyu felt, that if the smile would have disappeared from Woohyun's face, he himself would again be alone. And he was willing to do whatever it would take to help this guy.

"Yeah, but you still do not trust me completely. I hope that in the future you will be able to trust me, "- Sunggyu did not want the guy to feel any pressure that he had to tell his story, and to show his understanding of this he put his hand over Woohyun's hand with a reassuring smile. Woohyun flinched: the soft touch was too sudden, and even more surprising were the feelings that he experienced.

Perhaps it had been too long since he had touched anyone, and now it seemed to him that he had been frozen for many years, and now began slowly thawing, under the power of the magical warmth, which exuded from the hands of the kind priest. And suddenly, the memories of his past life flashed before his eyes. The scenes, which he tried to forget. And at that moment he wanted to share his story with that guy, wanted to hear that he could be forgiven. He wanted to hear from Sunggyu that it was all in the past, that he had the right to be happy, that he was forgiven.

For some reason, he thought that Sunggyu would not blame him, that he would accept and forgive him.

"Sunggyu," - Woohyun gripped the priest's palm, desperately whispering: - "I don't want to live as before. I want to forget everything, I want to start a new life ... "

"Woohyun, calm down!" - Sunggyu gently touched his cheek, as if he was a frightened child, a child who was afraid of himself. - "You'll start all over again... We'll start all over again! I will help you…"

Sunggyu pulled a trembling man to himself and embraced him, reassuringly patting his back. This hug was different from the previous one. And they were not awkward, because at that moment it was not two grown men hugging each other. They were two lonely, reunited souls, comforting each other's pain.


End file.
